<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>no family is safe when I sashay by Anonymous</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24449797">no family is safe when I sashay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek (TV) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dan Levy is gay, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:27:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,052</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24449797</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan Levy is gay. There will be a couple more chapters exploring the fact that Dan Levy is a gay man who is not pansexual.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Levy/Noah Reid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Noah ran one through Dan's silky hair as the other one lightly stroked his arm, leaving goosebumps in it's wake. Noah was laying against the couch in Dan's trailer with Dan in between his legs. Dan was shirtless, his pants undone and halfway down his legs. Noah was still in Patrick's shirt, unbuttoned but still on his shoulders. Dan had pulled his pants and briefs off before he gave him a fantastic blow job and they were on the floor. They were basking in the afterglow of just being together after an extremely long day on set. They both had to leave soon, there was another long day tomorrow, they were in the home stretch of season 6, but it was these quiet moments between the two of them that they both treasured the most. If they could, they would stay here all night, wrapped around each other, smelling of sex and pizza and Dan's leather cologne. Dan laced their fingers together on his thighs and sighed. It was a perfect moment. Just as that thought was still lingering in the air above him and he was mouthing and nipping at Noah's knuckles, the door burst open. 'What the fuck" Dan sat up quickly as Noah's fiancee Clare walked in. The men were both so shocked, Clare had never showed up on set, ever, in the past 4 years, not once, except for the occasional cast birthday celebration after hours. Dan saw her eyes widen, not in surprise exactly, but almost, conformation? He wasn't sure. He reached for the blanket at the edge of the couch to cover his nakedness. Noah was speechless, one hand still holding on to Dan, the other pulling his shirt across his chest, though not buttoning it. Clare smiled. 'I knew I would find you both in here. Mind if I join you?'. Clare walked over to the couch, where Dan was hastily tucking his dick back in his briefs underneath the blanket and trying to pull up his pants, though without much success. She sat at the edge of the couch and put her hand on Dan's blanketed ankle. 'I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner, really? But now that it has?'.She ran her bony fingers up Dan's calf under the blanket and he flinched. He sat up so quickly he almost kicked her in the stomach. He pulled his jeans all the way up and with his back to the couple, he zipped himself up and found his shirt and put it on. He cleared his throat. 'Listen Clare, I'm sor-.' She smiled and moved closer to Noah who had by that point pulled on his briefs, but had not gotten to his pants yet. 'Don't say you are sorry. Things happen. It's not like I didn't know you two were', she paused, 'close. Maybe this will be a good thing. Maybe we all can make this work somehow; now.' She batted her eyes at him while she stroked Noah's thigh. He clocked how Noah pulled away from her touch slightly.  Dan ran a hand through his hair, looking at Noah who was looking everywhere but at him. He frowned. 'Listen, I don't know whats going on here, but I'm not interested in', he waves his hands at them, 'all this'. Clare frowns and Noah looks stricken. 'No Dan, I didn't, we didn't.' Clare shushes him. 'Look Dan, I just thought we all like each other, why not make this easy?'. Dan gaped at her. He turned and put his slip on's on and walked towards the door. 'I have a few things to do. I would appreciate if you both would be gone before I get back. Noah, your call time is 8:00 am tomorrow. I will see you then'. He looked at Noah, who looked, well mortified and horrified and petrified. He couldn't deal with this shit now. He had a show to finish. He walked out the trailer and closed the door quietly.</p>
<p>It stayed quiet for a  minute. Clare was about to speak. She placed her hand on Noah's thigh. He stood up quickly and turned viciously on her, ' Don't touch me. I swear Clare if you ruined this between-'. She stood up. 'Ruined what Noah? Ruined what?' He looked at her cold dead eyes. He knew he was wrong. He cheated on her. His fiancee. His friend. But he couldn't get over what she did tonight. Asking to join them? Did she want to be part of a threesome? He shook his head. 'You insulted my boss and my friend tonight. Your friend. You asked a gay man to have a threesome with a woman. My boss. What the fuck were you thinking? I have to go find him and try to salvage my friendship and my career because of you'. Clare looked at him and stood up. She walked to the door. 'Don't come home for a couple days. I will get my things and stay with my father.' Go fix your friendship'. She used air quotes around the last word and slammed the door on the way out. Noah knew that the right thing to do was to follow his fiancee and apologize for cheating, to beg her forgiveness. He ran his hands through his hair, buttoned his shirt, put on his shoes and walked out the door. He went to find Dan to make this right. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. no family is safe when I sashay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dan and Noah talk.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dan locked the door of his trailer and adjusted his satchel over his shoulder. He walked towards car the pick up point while he looking down at his phone. 'Dan'. He startled, dropped his phone and let out a little yelp. Noah stood at the pick up spot. 'Dan, I thought you had left. I looked everywhere for you.' Dan sighed. 'Noah, it's very late. Why are you still here? Didn't you drive in today?' He avoided his eyes instead he focused on his phone and Noah's ridiculous hairline. Why did he insist Patrick have short hair again? Noah sighed and adjusted his backpack. 'I just can we talk? I don't want too. I just want to clear up what happened today.' Dan grimaced. 'Yea, about that. I apologize. I will call Clare and apologize as well. Oh, my car is here.' He nodded at the driver and turned from Noah. 'I'll see you in the morning, make sure you read the script revisions that were left in your trailer.' Noah reached out and grabbed Dan's arm. 'Dan, please, can we talk? I need. We need to talk about this.' He noticed Dan frown and harrumph impatiently. 'Can I drive in with you? I'll pick up my car tomorrow. I really want to talk about this.' Dan was exhausted and emotionally drained. He really didn't want to spend over an hour in the backseat of a car with Noah, discussing what happened today. He looked him in the eye to tell him to go home and he saw tears glistening there. Noah's big expressive eyes looked up at him through his long lashes and there were fucking tears in his eyes. Jesus. Dan let out an annoyed breath. 'Fine, get in.' Noah smiled and practically ran into the back seat, looking like a kid who got exactly what he wanted on Christmas morning.</p><p>The two men set their bags on the seat between them and just looked at one another. Noah's fingers were tapping nervously on his knee. He ached to touch Dan. The way Dan diligently examined his cuticles made him think Dan felt the same way. Noah took a deep breath. 'I need to say a few things and I hope you will let me.' Dan nodded, but stayed otherwise silent. He looked out into the passing darkness. Noah cleared his throat. 'Daniel. What happened today. Well, it shouldn't have happened. I didn't know she was coming. I have no idea why she did.' Noah cleared his throat again. 'I just need you to know that what she said, I never, we never discussed that before. I don't know where she got that from, but it's not. I would never, disrespect you like that. I know who you are.' Dan didn't turn from the window. Noah reached out and put a hand gently on his knee. Dan looked down but didn't otherwise react. Noah took that as a sign to continue. 'I know that what we are doing, what we have, isn't fair to her, and I will take care of that as soon as I see her again.' Dan looked up curiously at him. Noah laughed. 'Uh, yeah, in addition to this ride, can I crash at your place? Clare is going to stay with her father and asked if I could give her a couple days at the apartment before she leaves?'. Dan gaped at him. His mouth open, his eyebrows moving up to his hairline.  'Yea, she just kind of left after you did. I probably should have followed her and either apologized and explained what she walked in on, but I was so crazed at the thought that you might think I wanted, wanted what she suggested or that I talked about it with her, well I needed to clear that up first. You are my friend and obviously more than that now.' Noah blushed when Dan looked at him with a very small smirk. 'I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I screwed up. I don't want to ruin us, or the show or our friendship or any of this.' Noah flailed his hand between them. Dan grabbed it and held it. He looked down at it and brought it up to his mouth and gently kissed his knuckles. 'I'm glad you came to talk to me. It's not the first time a straight guy wanted that kind of situation with me. In the distant past, I found it flattering. When I was very young, I might have indulged a time or two before I realized it wasn't for me.' He saw Noah about to talk, shaking his head. 'Let me get this out please.' Noah nodded his head for him to continue. Dan stroked Noah's palms gently. 'I'm not even mad at her. Maybe she thought that was what you wanted. Maybe she wants it. Maybe she thinks it would be a way for us all to be closer. It's not like people haven't made jokes about the three of us before. We used to hang out together a lot when we first met. But, you, and maybe I, should talk to her and make it clear that it is not what I want, or apparently you want either.' Noah interrupted. 'Once we finish with this episode, I am going to talk to her. We need to settle everything once and for all.' Noah tried to stifle a yawn and laughed. 'Sorry.' Dan laughed. 'Am I boring you?' Noah moved closer and snuggled into Dan's side. 'You could never bore me. Never. It's been a long day. Dan pulled Noah even closer and kissed the top of his head. 'An even longer day tomorrow'.  Dan moved Noah a tiny bit away and tipped his chin towards him, bestowing the gentlest of kisses on Noah's lips. He nipped at Noah's irresistible full bottom lip as he backed away and Noah let out a little whimper. Dan put his arms around him and sighed. They both closed their eyes for a couple of minutes when a loud voice awoke them. 'Mr. Levy, we should be at your place in 15 minutes. Do you want me to go their first or?' Dan squeezed Noah. 'Just my place, Jerry thank you'. Jerry has seen cast members stay over his place before, so this shouldn't be a big deal, plus Jerry never gossips. He could be trusted with the answer to Who Killed Kennedy? Dan frowns, as a matter of fact, he wouldn't be surprised if Jerry knew that. Dan and Noah get settled into each others arms for the remainder of the trip. They don't say much, exchange a few chaste kisses. As they walk into his apartment and greet Redmond at the door, they smile at one another, almost shyly. They will work this out. They are a team. Everything will be ok. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title from Queen by Perfume Genius.</p><p>Thank you for indulging my little hobby. Obviously (eye-roll) I am nowhere in the neighborhood of a professional writer.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title from Queen by Perfume Genius.<br/>Dan Levy is a gay man.<br/>Respect.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>